If you ask for a sign, you might just get one.

About three weeks ago I had a dream that all four siblings had gathered at my sister's house in Wyoming. None of us knew that the others were coming until we all showed up. It was very Stephen King-esque. I didn't think too much of the dream because in it, we were all present, including Mona's husband Clark. If one of us had been absent, my first intuition would have been a death. I have had premonitions in the form of a dream on several occasions in the past.
A few days later, as the presence of the dream was fading, I had another dream that I was petting an owl. For most of you this may bear no significance. For me, owls are always bad news. They represent death. When an owl crosses your path you should pray for your loved ones to help protect them. Upon awakening from this dream, I did just that, I thought of all of my relatives and loved ones and asked that they all be safe. When I spoke to my sister a few days later, she assured me that her husband was fine. As far as anyone knew, my Grandmother was fine. I received a card from my step mom, she and my step brother were both fine. As far as I could tell, everyone was fine. I dismissed the dream as just that, a dream.
I did not make a connection until just this afternoon. I have been tortured with the impending demise of my 14 year companion, Rowdy. I don't want him to suffer, but I also hope that he will die on his own terms and I will not have to order his execution. Yesterday (Tuesday) I was done with work early and we were all in the office, Rowdy, the dog, Bubba, the cat, and myself. When Rowdy began showing stress, He was panting and crying and moaning. His breathing seemed labored and it was clear that he was very uncomfortable. This is the second spell of this nature that I have witnessed. In a flood of tears, I called the nice lady that comes to your house to do euthanasia in the comfort of your own home. I left a message with a voice mail which promised to return my call between 5 and 8 pm.
For the next hour I basically cried till my eyes swelled. Somewhere around 6 P.M. she returned my call and, as expected, I could barely talk as my throat clenched shut and my lips contorted into an ugly grimace of sorrow and heartache. Somehow, I managed to relay my story and ultimately made the appointment-Friday, May 9th, 3 P.M. I reasoned that this would be a good time because my step mom would be here for Mothers Day and I would have some familial support and comfort. I was also not on call for the entire weekend. Before I hung up, she told me that if I changed my mine and cancelled, it was okay. Just try to give her as much notice as I could. I bet people cancel and reschedule a lot.
By bedtime that evening Rowdy seemed much improved, improved at this stage meaning back to the current state of deterioration. I tried to envision the final act in my head as if it were about to happen, and I could not see it nor feel it. Again, Rowdy appeared much too viable to me to be ready for his final rest. Now, I rationalized that Friday would be a not-so-good day after all. My friend Jane, had arranged to take me out to a belated birthday lunch at noon that day. How could I enjoy a meal and then go home and watch my dog die? It seems that I was on call Friday night but not Sat. or Sun. Ultimately, I wouldn't want anyone else here during the final act, so what would it matter if my step mom were here?
By Wednesday afternoon, I made the decision to cancel the appointment. I would have another "window of opportunity" in two weeks with no weekend call and a couple of days off to regain my composure after the dreadful event. In the meantime I am waiting and watching Rowdy's condition but I know the end is very near. I asked for a sign, and the owl came to me. My underlying hope is that I will come home from work one day and when I rush in to check on Rowdy, he will not greet me and he will simply remain in eternal sleep.