Coincidence?

Mona created a colorful necklace for me which incorporated several healing stones and beads meant to offer me creativity and among other things, solace and the ability to deal with the grief of the recent passing of Rowdy. It arrived on Friday the twenty third of May, the day after Rowdy's ashes were delivered to my doorstep, and after shedding more than a few tears, I promptly put the necklace on and there it has remained.
In dealing with his departure, I feel that I have been doing quite well. I expected much worse. The first week was as expected, very painful and I was unable to discuss his absence without tearing up. By the second week, I was no longer prone to crying jags and was able to accept condolences from the few people that shared the saga that was Rowdy without having a melt down. Whenever visual memories tried to bully their way into that high def big screen that is my minds eye, I was able to block them with an almost tangible click of my brain.
Bubba keeps me company and if I am not mistaken, spends a great deal more time on my lap now then he used to. I am still getting used to a new pre-work routine which doesn't involve potty time, cookies, kisses and doggie doors, but returning home to a half empty house is getting easier.
Wednesday (June 4) as I was changing after a case that afternoon, I went to pull my mask off of my neck (don't ask me why we don't untie them, we just pull until the paper strings break), I inadvertently caught my necklace and pulled it to, breaking it on one side of the clasp. Fortunately it is so well constructed that I lost none of the beads. Unfortunately I need to replace the clam shell clasp in order to repair it, but it seems like that will be easy enough.
As I checked phone messages remotely, my step mom had called to offer her condolences after just receiving my letter about Rowdy. (She is one of the few people I know who doesn't have an email address and doesn't want one). She sounded choked up on the phone and suddenly I found myself tearing up and wanting to cry. I was still in the locker room and didn't want to break down there so I pulled myself together and went on to my next work location.
When I got home it was too late to return her call, and I soon forgot about it. I fixed something to eat and settled in the recliner watching television with Bubba nestled on my lap. Some time later, from seemingly nowhere, I felt the overwhelming loneliness coming on and this time I let go. I am unaware of what triggered this. Normally there is an immediate visual memory or sound or smell or though process which precedes the ache of his loss but this time it just seemed to start all on it's own.
As Bubba sat at my feet staring at me with what appeared to me as wide eyed concern, I reached for my neck and that was when I remembered that the necklace had broken earlier and was no longer on my neck but rather on the kitchen table. As I sat there sobbing, I wondered, is the necklace really that powerful, or is it coincidence?
photo credit